previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I wasn't trying to do anything against the cult. I lost my mask. And I was trying to find it with the Divination Pool.
Did you get to ask the Divination Pool?
The Cult of the Dragon has it. And if I go back, I'm pretty much dead. I will help you wherever I can.
Francis yells, oh, we're just about here. Oh, the city of Waterdeep itself. It looks fine.
The walls look like they've taken some damage around the city. There's scorched earth all along the outside.
Francis lands the airship. You bring Varam to the prison, and he takes you up to go see Leosan.
My goodness, it's been so long since we've seen you. You went right to get Varam. Oh, that's wonderful news.
Been disgruntled with his former employer.
We shall have him interrogated. The council meets in a few days, and they would bid you to join them.
Yeah, I think we could use a little bit of a break.
Accommodations would be nice.
Yes, yes. We'll get you the finest accommodations where you can rest, and then we will see you again in a few days.
Hey, uh, it's the winter solstice celebration. Maybe we could, uh...
Got plans. Sorry to slam my door.
Have dinner at my...
I shoot him a thumbs up. I'll be there.
You guys all separately get back to your apartments, and it's the next day.
And you, uh, you hear Francis yell down the hall, dinner's getting ready down here.
We're all discussing, you know, things that have gone on and telling stories, and you all begin to feel a little funny.
And you look to Francis, and he says, oh, hold on.
He comes out with a big, dusty, old book.
He's shrinking in size, but so are you.
And you guys shrink down to the size of a thumb, and you are quickly surrounded by two or three dozen tiny, very colorful frog-like people.
And they're screaming, for the Sark!
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. We are a fifth edition actual play podcast.
I'm your dungeon master, Russ More, and staring at me awkwardly is my wife, Amy More.
Yeah, I am.
And also with me today, Carla Johnson.
Not staring at you awkwardly. Or am I?
You might be. We don't have the video feed.
I'm not. I'm not.
And with us today, and not feeling great, but loving those hot toddies, is Tom Laird.
Yes, I'm under the weather.
And that's all the witty banter we get tonight.
We did great, you guys. That was super.
I do have a quick question before we get underway.
Yep.
How's our aggressive rebrand to Dumbgeons and Dragons going?
Shut the fuck up, Tom.
He has a hot toddy. He thinks he's hot shit now.
He's all drunk and aggressive.
He's all fired up.
Ready to start some shit.
Stirring the pot over here.
I still, and I know that the playback is Dumbgeons and Dragons, but I still, I'm going to just hold to it.
No, I was saying Dungeons.
It's a hard thing for me to say, just in general.
Dungeons does not roll off the tongue.
And any time that, you know what, when we end up on Good Mythical Morning one day,
because it's going to happen in the future.
Shooting high. I didn't know this. OK, good.
I cannot be the one to be like, hey, we're from Dumbgeons and Dragons,
because we're going to have to do like seven takes.
Pretty sure they do edits too, so it's probably fine.
Well, and you just nailed it right then, Amy.
Yeah, like a hundred percent.
Because I wasn't being stared down by Rhett and Link.
I was thinking about it so hard.
Who do you play, Amy?
You, like a fiddle.
Oh.
Amy, now he's going to try and kill you in the episode.
He does that every single episode, you guys.
Have you not noticed this? Rhett is trying to off me.
I have some guest stars lined up in the wings just in case.
Just in case.
He's been approached.
I am the name that you said I was before.
I play Thea Amastasia, a elf druid.
A druid elf?
What level are you?
Oh, of the highest.
She looks toward her.
She means ten. By that she means ten.
You know what, I was going to say ten. I felt like it was ten.
Well, you just leveled up, so this is a new thing.
Yes.
New-ish thing for you, right?
Level ten.
And Carla, who do you play and what level are you?
I mean, you're all level ten.
Yeah, I feel like you're really...
It's a much easier question for me to answer now.
I feel like they got the answers to the quiz.
I am new Laura Moonbrook, also level ten.
What other kind of skill testing questions you got?
I'm ready.
What are you?
What's your race and class?
Just kidding. I'm a human ranger.
And Tom Laird, who do you play?
I play Flink Firebeard, a mountain dwarf champion soldier.
Also level ten.
Only reason I ask is because this episode is our one-year anniversary episode.
What?
So I felt like it was a good time just to hit that who we are on the ol' noggin there.
Like where we came from, where we started.
You should have clips in of just us going, I can't remember how to play.
I wouldn't have to go back far. That was from last week.
I'm pretty sure that will come up in the episode.
That was to make sure we know our names one year into recording this podcast.
Two years into playing this same game.
I think we're almost three years into playing these characters.
I imagine us from even just a year ago, like when I think back,
like we're all dorky teenagers with braces and we're sitting around just being like,
yeah, so I'm going to use my spells and I'm going to do...
I love everything about this.
Me too.
I'm going to show my, my, my flaming sphere at him.
And that's how I imagine...
Why can't that be Thea's character voice?
Because too many of our listeners would just fall madly in love with me and have stalkers.
It'd be this big problem.
I mean, you'd have to really just stay off of Twitter all the time.
Done.
As a preventative measure.
Something that we didn't do this time last year and that we're doing now is we are on Patreon.
And Patreon is a way that you can support the creators who you enjoy the stuff that they're putting out.
And on Patreon, if you are a patron of us, you could get a special episode shout out,
like our special random patron of the episode, Kyle.
Thanks, Kyle.
All right, out.
We're going to play D&D.
You guys got shrunk down and Grancis was like, oh boy.
And his voice is getting higher and higher, which I'll pitch up in post as he shrinks.
But the book that he's holding does not shrink.
So he throws it in front of him, obviously.
So he does not crush himself with this massive book that is growing in his hands.
Guys, I mix up the mashed potatoes with the shrunken stuff.
Oh boy.
I walk over and I just slap Grancis.
You are very small and standing on top of a chair right now.
I don't do that.
I walk to the edge and I point at him.
And meanwhile, a whole bunch of tiny frogs are coming out and they start by saying,
for the sock.
And after they say that a few times, they begin talking in a language that you don't understand.
That seems to be the only common that they that they at least right now are speaking.
And they surround Grancis and they are coming and they have surrounded the chairs.
There are a lot of them.
They have surrounded the chairs that you are all standing on.
Now, out of character, I'm I'm not really a stickler for many things,
but I mean, who would go to a dinner party dressed in their armor and have all their weapons?
What's everybody wearing?
Our fancy clothes.
Tuxedo and tits.
Flint. Fancy.
You went back and you got like dress and stuff.
I got dolled up, you guys.
Oh yeah, you made a point of saying it.
I believe I said I bathed.
So you're welcome.
Yeah.
The only weapon that was talked about in the previous episode was flame tongue.
So I don't know if you had that on you or if it was like off to the side.
I think that perhaps she did because I gave her a scabbard and I think she would probably have tried that on.
Right.
Agreed.
Just what a good gift.
Trying to like get around it.
I bet it was a new handle.
That's exactly it.
I was like the only person who was carrying or at least had their weapon in the room with them,
I think was Nulara because of all this change.
I gave Grants this chef's knife too.
Yeah, he wasn't holding it at the time though.
You are all without armor.
Just keep that in mind for your armor classes.
And you're all standing on top of a chair.
13?
No, it's 10 plus your dex.
Okay, this seems a little conspicuous and sinister.
I mean, he accidentally mixes up the potatoes with the shrinking spell.
And then like what?
Were all these frogs waiting in the wings for how long to come out and start chanting about a sock?
Fuck this.
Dia bends down and like takes off one of her socks and holds it in the air.
And as you do that, you see grappling hooks come up and hooks themselves to the side of the chair.
It's about five of them per chair.
I throw my sock down over the edge of the chair.
They don't seem to stop the frogs.
It wasn't obviously for that sock.
What? Are they like the same size as us now that we're shrunk?
Are they still little to us?
They'd probably be about two feet tall.
I don't know if this is going to drop in.
Okay, I'm sorry, two feet real person tall?
Yeah.
And so how tall are we?
So well, so sorry, they're two feet real.
Okay, how am I going to describe this?
So if you were regular size, they would be about to look about two feet to you.
So if you're another big frogs.
No, no.
So you are Sophia.
You are what?
Five, ten, five, something.
So in regular size, so before you shrunk down, if they were, you know, equivalent to being big,
they would look about two feet to you.
So they proportionately look about two feet to you,
pretending that you're still five, ten, even though you're really small.
So you're five, five centimeters, ten millimeters tall.
I don't understand how metrics work.
Just at five centimeters or ten millimeters.
Those aren't, do inches, man, you know, inches.
I feel like this is getting overly complicated.
I know we're shrunk, but are they small to us or the same size?
Yeah, they're small to you.
Perfect.
They're about up to your, they're about up just above your knee, we'll say, where you are small.
Okay, perfect.
Thank you.
Oh, they shrunk with us.
Well, they were already shrunk.
They were already down there being that small.
So we are also like, I'm so confused, but it's fine.
They're still smaller than us.
They're still only coming up to your knee.
And I'm going to drop a picture.
Because what you're saying does not make sense.
Yeah, I know.
I haven't been having difficulty describing it.
That's something that.
Right.
Because if they're two feet tall to our knee when we're real life size and we shrink down to however millimeters.
Okay.
So say you're like Thumbelina now.
They still only come up to your knee.
So they're that small.
Okay.
So they weren't two feet then.
I see what you're saying.
Thank you.
Thank you for catching up.
Wait, you're not explaining it very well.
No, I didn't explain it very well at all.
This fight brought to you by marriage Skype chat.
I just dropped what they look like in there.
Oh, my God.
They're adorable.
Yeah, but they're coming for you.
Yeah.
And they're also brightly colored.
Watch out.
That means they're poisonous.
Oh, I've watched Animal Planet.
Do they have spears and stuff?
He's got a little bow and arrow.
Look at that little cutie.
Hey, important question.
Maybe we can keep one when we get bigger.
I have an important question.
Did Donnie eat any of the mashed potatoes?
I don't know.
Did Donnie eat any of the mashed potatoes?
I don't think we said Donnie ate any of the mashed potatoes.
Would Donnie have eaten the mashed potatoes?
Donnie's a meatasaurus.
That's what I was just going to say.
I was like, I feel he's kind of carnivorous.
All right.
Donnie didn't eat the mashed potatoes.
Sweet.
We got a giant dragon, guys.
I mean, he's still like pretty weak.
Yeah, but if we're only a few millimeters tall.
I'm not going to make Russ change all his stats and stuff.
But this can help us in a way that is not Donnie just eating all these adorable little froggies.
All right.
What are you guys doing?
The frogs are scaling the chairs trying to get up to you.
I'm going to get on Donnie.
And Grants, this is being led over to what appears to be a hole in the wall.
Oh, oh, they're so they're after Grants.
Well, they're after everybody.
That's where they're leading Grants to.
He's the first one they got to because he was standing up.
So he is on the ground.
Oh, I see.
I see.
That makes sense.
What's our seating arrangement?
Because I assume the other three of us are on our respective chairs.
I had this very specifically.
Because Disa came in.
Yeah, I feel like I was sitting beside Disa near the door.
Door was over here.
Yeah.
I feel like Disa and I were on one side and Nulara was right across from me and Flint
was kitty corner to me.
Oh, OK.
Lara, Flint and Thea.
Yeah.
OK, I'm going to say.
It's very weird that that like that's what I remember from.
I'm just going to send this to you guys quick in text here and you guys can say
if you agree or not.
Flint, are you still awake over there?
Oh, yeah.
OK, good.
Just checking.
There was a little pause there.
Hot toddy pause.
Man, I haven't had a hot toddy in like two years.
I could totally go for that.
I just sent you guys a quick image of roughly where everybody was sitting.
The line above Grancis is approximately the location where he's being led to by
the frogs right now.
And the upside down L in the corner is the door.
OK, I'm going to get on Donny because he's big now, right?
He can fly.
So I'm going to get on him and I guess I'm going to go pick up my friend Flint
because he's the closest to me.
Sure.
Excellent.
How many of these froggies are there?
There's a lot like there's five coming up on each chair.
Probably another 10 down at the bottom of each chair and then a whole cluster
of them around and leading Grancis back.
Yeah, there's a lot of frogs.
If I can also, I can't work out like the flight statistics of Donny, but if I can
if I can also pick up Thea, that'd be great.
I would like it if we were all together and one of us is not stranded on a chair.
You're like five feet apart.
He's just flying around a dinner table.
He's just basically walking to get everybody.
No, no, I'm in for weight because Donny's very small, right?
He's like the size of a cat.
You guys are quite literally like the size of Thumbelina right now.
Okay, then I'm going to pick up my friends.
Okay.
Don't forget Deesa.
Well, but Deesa's not going to help us fight, is she?
No, but we also probably, I mean, I invited her.
We can't just like abandon her to the frogs though.
It's true.
It's Flynn's only love interest right now who he's not interested in.
But the frogs are collecting the people and taking us through a hole.
Why would we stop and?
Okay, I guess this is the conversation we're having on the back of Donny right now about what we're doing.
Okay, let's get Deesa.
Can you pick everyone up and just fly the fuck out of there?
Well, that will make for a very fun session of D&D that our DM has planned.
So, no, that seems mean.
She's what she wants to do.
Well, Deesa works in that blacksmith shop, so she's probably real strong.
She can thump some mini frogs, right?
I would have to think so.
Okay, so let's pick her up and then fly down to, like, where they're taking Grancis.
Donny walks around and picks everybody up and just as kind of the frogs are pulling up onto the chair
and you fly towards Grancis as he's just ducking in and you see his head kind of poke back out
and he's like, just, oh, oh, I know.
I kind of know these guys, I think.
Oh, don't, don't squish them.
And he is in, he is in the room.
Okay.
Well, I guess I don't think we should squish them.
I agree.
They're very cute.
I know.
Here's a thought.
Hey, frogs.
What do you, what do you guys want?
Worth a shot, right?
You, you call down to them and they don't seem to respond in any way.
They just, the frogs that got up on the chair have this look of a little bit of dejection,
like, fuck, we just climbed all the way up here, that kind of look.
But they're climbing back down now.
And the other frogs are walking towards you,
but they don't seem to acknowledge what you're saying to them.
Dee throws her other sock down.
Mostly so I'm not off bAlydince.
Sure.
It still does not stop them.
So you barefoot now?
I slipped my shoe off.
I'm just checking.
I'm a barefoot.
I'm just wondering if you're John McClane in this thing.
I know I'm not.
You guys, I think we, I can't believe I'm the one saying this.
We need to go get Grancis.
Wow.
Well, it is, winter solstice seems like the charitable thing to do.
So I guess bring us down, Donnie.
I'm going straight to hell anyway, but not for this.
Okay.
So Donnie will land.
How big's the door?
Will he be able to go in with us?
No, Donnie doesn't fit in the door.
It's like a mouse hole?
Yeah, it's like a mouse hole.
So yeah, Donnie lands down and his wings flapping kind of
knock all the frogs back and they stand up and brush themselves off
and continue hopping towards you now.
Maybe Donnie can guard the entrance.
Are they frightened of Donnie?
That's what I was just going to say.
Donnie is much bigger than them.
Can't he just block the door?
We run through the door and he blocks it.
Sure.
I mean, they can start attacking him.
He can fly away, right?
Worst case, worst case, friends.
Yeah, let's go get Grancis.
You land and slide down Donnie's tail through the mouse hole
or the frog hole in the wall.
The troupe of frog people kind of climb up to where Donnie is
and Donnie needs to make a Constitution saving throw.
That was an 11?
For the time being, Donnie can't move.
He is surrounded by largely of these green,
most of them are these green frog type creatures
and they climb up onto him and he finds he can't move
except to climb or make standing jumps.
Did they frogify him?
Yeah, he can't use his wings and he can't just walk normally.
He must make standing jumps or climb.
And what are you guys doing?
I run up to where they're pulling Grancis away
and I think, give us back our Grancis!
So you enter into this mouse hole
and you find you're quickly surrounded by an entire civilization
of these frog people living inside of this wall.
It's very humid and tropical
and there are vines and foliage growing all over the inside of the wall
and there are pools on different, you see different levels
all cascading up and through the wall.
And you see the group ahead of,
you've been now confronted by more of these green frog creatures
and they are taking Grancis and they stop and turn
and Grancis is like, oh, you got in, good, uh, hey, uh,
so I lost these guys a while ago, uh, and now I found them.
What do you mean you lost them?
Well, when I brought them back, they were bigger.
Back from where?
From when I was down, down south.
I was looking into a bunch of different,
a bunch of different creatures and people and different species.
Did you fucking shrink these frogs, Grancis?
I didn't, I thought I just accidentally vaporized them,
so good news, bad news, didn't vaporize them.
Oh boy.
Classic Grancis.
I look back at Nulara and Flint,
like I completely regret coming in here.
But yeah, I was on an expedition and I brought them back
and I didn't think that I shrunk them.
I thought they just disappeared,
but looks like I shrunk them and they've been living in my wall.
Explains why there's some little bit of mold on the outside of the wall.
It's kind of hot in here.
So what, Grancis, what do you, you don't want us to squish them.
What do you want us to do here?
What are these creatures?
Well, I think what some of the locals, they call them, they call them grungs.
And I don't know if they're good or bad,
but obviously they've set up kind of a cool thing going on in here
and I'd like to kind of look into it a little bit more.
Maybe we just let them, let them lead us to where they're going
and we see, see what happens.
Oh, Thea hates Grancis right now.
Like he had to ruin it, didn't he?
We were having such a nice winter solstice
and then he just had to go and like fucking Grancis it up.
I don't know what kind of sock thing they're talking about though.
That seems weird.
Do they seem to be like malevolent towards us
or are they just letting us like follow them?
I assume they're still carrying Grancis.
We're just like following them or?
You guys have been greeted kind of at Spear Point
Grancis is being led at Spear Point
and they're carrying different clubs
and crossbows and spears and that sort of.
This is the worst winter solstice ever.
Let's just go.
Maybe they'll bring us to their leader
and we can talk Grancis out of this shit
or murder everyone.
Ooh, both are really good options.
Happy winter solstice!
Yeah, I don't know that we have much choice
but to just like go along with it for now, right?
I whisper to you, Lara,
I don't have enough rope.
So you're just kind of going along with it at this point?
Yeah, let's see where this magical winter solstice ride ends.
You are led through this microcosm of a civilization here
and you are led past an area that kind of seems like
it's pools of, you see in there eggs and tadpoles.
It's like a hatchery area
and you walk past a crude makeshift,
what looks like an armory.
You see a few frogs as standing as guards
and they've got a whole bunch of their makeshift weapons
made out of small wooden pieces and bits of metal
and that sort of thing.
And you are made to climb up to the next level.
Can everybody make a dexterity or athletics?
18.
I'll give you athletics or acrobatics,
depending on which you've got better in.
11.
21.
Thea has her pretty clothes on,
so she's not a very dexterous or athletic at this moment.
I should have asked earlier, but is Disa with you guys?
Yeah, I would assume so.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, Disa gets a solid 17.
Thea tears into her dress and tries again.
Everybody ahead of you seems to climb the mossy vines quite easily,
but you slide back down and are poked by one of their spears
as you land back down.
Poked where?
In the butt.
And you take two piercing damage to your butt.
To your butt.
Make sure you specify that on your character sheet.
Butt damage.
Gotta hate that butt damage.
The grung that is standing by reaches out and grabs your arm.
Make a constitution saving throw.
I need to not ever roll dice.
This is not, this is an eight.
You're being guarded by a green grung,
and you are poisoned,
and you can't move except to climb or make standing jumps.
I don't know if I am.
No, yeah, I am.
Yeah, so you find your movement is restricted,
except you're doing better at climbing,
and you can only move by making standing jumps.
All right, well, I climbed the shit out of this mossy vine.
So yeah, this grung grabs you,
and you find that you're doing okay climbing again,
but yeah, you get to the top,
and you can only move by making standing jumps.
May I jump in a forward motion?
Yeah.
Oh, okay, fine.
Hop around.
So, Flint and Eularia,
you turn to see Thea just hopping along like a frog.
Well, that's new.
No big deal, guys.
It's not as bad as it looks.
Though my butt hurts a little bit.
This magic power came with a price,
and I kind of just bound around like I'm having a good time.
I had some meat before I had the mashed potatoes.
As you guys are talking,
Nulara, you are pushed by one of the frogs.
Nulara, make a constitution saving throw.
These frogs are so fucking pushy.
They're so rude.
19.
All right, so a blue frog pushes you,
but you made the save,
so you seem okay, and you continue forward.
You climb up two more levels with relative ease,
Thea hopping along quite jauntily,
as she yells from the bathroom,
and you are led into what looks like a throne chamber
where you see at one end of this chamber
a massive throne with a gold grung sitting on it,
and he is surrounded by three orange grungs.
The troop that's been leading you,
they take you up,
and they begin talking in a language you don't understand.
And the gold grung and one of the orange grungs comes down,
and the gold grung walks or hops up to Grancis
and pokes him in the chest,
and he makes a constitution saving throw.
He is poked by the gold grung.
Flint, you are poked by one of the orange grungs,
kind of pushed a little bit.
They're a little handsy.
Clint, make a constitution saving throw.
15.
Yeah, you do okay,
but Grancis begins speaking grung to this gold grung,
and they're talking back and forth, having a conversation.
Getting their grung on.
How do you guys respond to him being able to speak grung?
Well, I think Thea puts two and two together.
I get touched by a grung.
I have to hop.
He gets touched by a grung.
He's got these weird powers as well.
Oh, my God.
I turn toward them.
I think they want to turn us into grungs.
I don't know that they're grungs.
I think they want to turn us into weird frog things.
Yeah, he told you they were grungs.
I think, oh, fuck.
Just use the first one that I said.
All three of you are kind of pushed around by a blue grung each.
There's three of them on you.
All of you make a constitution saving throw again.
Guys, I'm going to get more than five this time.
17.
Oh, now 20.
Seven.
What a waste.
Clint and Thea, you make your saves,
but Nularaaaa, you did not.
You were pushed around by this blue grung,
and you find that you are only able to shout loudly.
Or otherwise make a loud noise at the start
and end of whenever you say something.
Awesome.
Fantastic.
Did you read up on 12 rules for this session of D&D?
No, this is Volo's guide, man.
It's good stuff.
This is fantastic.
At the beginning and end, so loud noise.
So any time you say something, you say, yep.
Okay.
Just want to make sure I've got my language rules ready.
Also, I'm sorry, Russ,
because I know you have to edit this,
and it's not going to be pretty.
Nularaaaa, what do you think?
What?
Uh, what?
That was weird.
We got to find out from...
Grancis can talk to them now?
Do you think?
Grancis!
Grancis looks over to you,
Oh, boy.
Um, so, um, I was right.
These were the grungs that I accidentally shrunk.
I've been talking to their head honcho here,
and he seems to think that we can settle the differences
of me bringing them out of the forest
and into this new forest, which I think is quite nice,
but he didn't seem to agree.
Anyways, there's apparently also something else that I...
I'm still not 100% sure what it is,
but there's something else that I've been...
that I gooned up, and they want us to fight it.
And if we make it disappear, they will let us go.
Oh, boy.
I'm so unimpressed with Grancis right now.
Like, I can't even...
Like, I look at him, and then I'm like, I turn away.
I can't even fucking look at you right now.
See? I know.
I...
I know.
I just...
I just want to be friends,
and I tried to make some sweet mashed potatoes,
and it just...
I've mixed...
It's been a while since I used my spell recipe book, and...
You know, you don't need that for food, Grancis.
You don't need that for food.
But I put all my spells...
It was a different time.
I put all my spells with my recipes.
Shut up. What do we have to fight?
I don't know.
What do you guys think?
I'd love some sort of weapon if we're fighting something.
And he begins speaking in Grung again,
and he turns back.
He says, oh, yeah.
They're gonna give us some weapons.
We just gotta go...
Gotta go fight whatever this thing is that they said it is.
I raise my hand,
because old habits die hard from university,
where I was a scribe.
Okay.
I say, can I not hop?
You try and take a step forward,
and you find you're able to walk again.
Thanks.
It's killer on the calves.
Y'know, Laura, should we go fight?
Yeah.
Let's go fight.
Could I stop yelling?
You find you can't stop yelling quite yet.
What'd you do to Russ?
He talks to the Gold Grung again,
and they lead you
to what looks like an open...
Coliseum or arena.
Oh, this is for sport, is it?
And they have different weapons set up,
and they push all five of you through this door,
and the big gate slams shut,
so everybody make a Constitution save throw.
To not get hit by the gate?
Uh, no, to...
Two!
Constitution.
22.
Five!
Guys, I'm nailing my rights.
Totally. Yeah, me too.
Yeah, that's a four.
Four. Got it. Got a four.
Gonna get some butt damage from that door
hitting me in the butt
from my way into the Coliseum.
I already got butt damage.
I don't want any more butt damage.
So, uh,
Thea, you were pushed by a Red Grung,
and you must eat...
You must use your action
to eat food within reach.
You find there are no food within reach.
Nulara, you were pushed by a Purple One,
and you feel a desperate need
to soak yourself in liquid or mud,
and you can't take actions or move
except to do so,
or to reach a body of liquid or mud.
What is happening here?
Is the Gold Grung anywhere?
Uh, Grancis was pushed by an Orange Grung,
and he is frightened of his allies.
Well, he should be.
So you were all pushed through.
Uh, Thea, you get the munchies.
Nulara, you look around,
and you find there are definitely mud puddles
all throughout this arena,
and you feel the desperate need to get in there
while still screaming your thoughts.
And Grancis, he turns and looks at the gate,
and then he looks back at you guys,
and he cowers away from you
as you hear the Gold Grung
over what sounds like some sort of amplification device,
and there are hundreds of Grungs
surrounding this arena,
and a gate rises at the end,
and stepping out from the gate
is a giant white sock dragon.
And you see Grancis,
and he is cowering away from you,
but he says,
That's my sock!
Roll for initiative.
Hey there!
Happy New Year to you,
and also happy one-year anniversary
to you and us
here at Dumbgeons and Dragons.
One whole year!
I'm your Dungeon Master, Russ More.
Thank you for joining us
for episode 29 of Dumbgeons and Dragons,
titled A Grancis Solstice Vacation.
One quick note I want to make
and give credit to before carrying on here
is the monster that the adventures are about to fight
was homebrewed and given to us
by listener of Dumbgeons and Dragons
and general all-around amazing human being,
Ty Zuniga, on Twitter,
at the underscore fierce underscore king.
Go give Ty a follow,
and Ty, I had to tone down the stats a little bit
on this one on the fly,
because I kind of took away all of the adventures armor
and really good weapons.
Oops.
It's still a super fun fight coming up,
thanks to you.
I'll put a link to Ty's original stat block
in the description for all to see.
This episode is released on the exact day
that we went live with our first two or three episodes
of the podcast last year.
So as such,
January 3rd is our anniversary date.
We're all thrilled to have grown the community
and listener base that we have over the last year,
and that includes you.
Not a week goes by
that we don't talk about how lucky we are,
not just by being able to play the game and have fun,
but to have people like you listen to us
and interact with us on our many various social platforms
from Facebook and Twitter to Instagram and Patreon.
We are always humbled by the fact
that people not only listen to us,
but feel that we are worth their hard-earned dollars
to help bring a better podcast to you each week.
So thank you.
If you're new to the Dumb Dragon community,
or if you've never done so before,
we would greatly appreciate you dropping us
a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.
It helps out a ton, absolutely.
And if you want to join us anywhere we're on social media,
links can be found at DumbDragons.com,
or you can jump on over to Twitter
and follow us at DumbDragonCast.
I'm on there really pretty much all the time.
Come say hi, I'm on there right now talking to someone.
It's just how it works.
On Facebook, we're at Facebook.com
slash DumbDragonPodcast,
and you can also send us an email
to DumbDragonPodcast at gmail.com.
All links mentioned today will be in the description below.
The next episode will be out January 17th.
You know, I didn't realize January is a three-episode month.
I got to get to work here, geez.
Let's jump back into the episode and fight a sock.
Why not, right?
It's a Grancis-centric storyline after all.
Anything goes.
Okay, so Grancis is up first.
What does he do, wet himself?
Yeah, he looks at you and he's like,
I am, I am so sorry, guys.
And then you see him kind of
begin to speak this incantation
and the fear leaves from his eyes.
And he looks towards the dragon and says,
oh, boy, I fucked up.
But let's get out of this, okay?
Okay?
And now it is the sock's turn.
Okay, and he bounds towards you
because he doesn't have feet.
He's just a sock.
I'm sorry, this creature is a sock?
And it looks like a well-used sock.
It's got some stink to it.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm trying to paint a picture here for the people.
And it's hopping through the mud to get to you.
And it uses its frightful presence on you.
Everybody must make a wisdom saving throw.
I'm tired of rolling dice, man.
This is what this game is all about.
I just, I'm not doing a very good, yep, there it is.
12.
16.
13.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
Wait.
I can reroll a wisdom save.
Yeah, you can.
Thank you.
I look at, I look at you, Lara, and I wink.
I fucking rolled a four, you guys.
God damn it.
So, Thea and Nulara are frightened of this,
of this creature.
Great.
Keeping them, yep.
Scared and hungry.
Scared in my life.
Scared and muddy.
And loud.
Scared, muddy, and loud.
No, you find your screaming has stopped,
but you still feel the need that you need to cover yourself in mud.
The screaming has stopped.
I mean, it's tough because I like,
Nulara would also just like,
this would be very embarrassing for her.
She would not keep talking very much.
She's a very, very quiet person, generally.
Yeah.
That's fair.
I'm just going to quickly look up frightened here for you,
just to make sure we know what that does.
Just to see how frightened we are.
So, a frightened creature has disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls.
While the source of its fear is within line of sight,
the creature can't willingly move closer to the source of fear,
and you can make a saving throw at the end of your turn to save from that.
But it makes that and casts that,
or it doesn't cast that, but it does that,
and Thea and Nulara are frightened,
and it comes forward and attacks Flint with its thread breath.
I was going to say it's...
No, that's a 60-foot color.
Anti-wick.
It attacks everybody with its thread breath.
Because, yeah, that's a big, that's a 60-foot cone.
Everybody's kind of clustered.
So everybody make a dexterity saving throw.
Oh, it's more than enough.
I'm in double digits, you guys.
13 for me, Russ.
14.
15.
Not that that's going to win anything.
These are not...
This is like the worst rolling ever.
I think it's the best roll I've had, and it was 15.
I had a nat 20.
I guess I did roll a 19 on something totally useless.
So from its sock mouth comes strands of thread as it falls over you,
and everybody takes full damage, taking 34 bludgeoning damage.
What the legitimate fuck?
It's a sock, Russell.
It's an adult sock puppet dragon.
Gross.
Oh my god.
What the fuck does that mean?
It means it's fully grown.
Well, that's not what I thought it meant.
In the socket.
Yeah, right?
It's an adult, like from an adult store for adults.
What is happening?
I like that Amy and I always have our minds in the gutter.
I feel like...
Always.
I'm so glad I'm not by myself.
Why do you only have 31?
You should have been full.
I wasn't.
You should have been.
Everybody should have been full.
Because you've had three days of rest.
Are you sure?
Yeah, you had three days of rest.
Okay.
I had three days of rest, and then I had minus...
How much did my butt hurt?
34.
Oh, your butt hurt, too.
68, and then minus 30, so I'm at 38.
34.
You're at 34, because you took 34.
So you're at half of what...
Jesus.
Yeah.
Now it's Nulara's turn.
Okay.
And you are frightened.
I'm frightened.
And you want to cover yourself in mud.
And I'm frightened.
Yeah.
Sweet.
The only way you can move is to move towards mud, but you can't move in the direction of
the dragon.
Conveniently, there's a mud puddle right behind you.
Perfect.
I guess I back into that mud puddle.
Mm-hmm.
I guess that's my first action?
Or that's my action, yeah?
So much to think about.
Does my grung spell mean I have to stay there?
Or now that I have soaked myself in mud, can I get out of that puddle?
Ooh, yeah, is she satisfied?
I think that's your action.
Or at least one of your actions.
It takes actions to move.
Yeah, so once you're soaked, so for an action, you are covering yourself in mud.
So you still have one more action, I believe.
But I can't move towards the sock?
You have to make a saving throw at the end of your turn.
But she could maybe use a ranged weapon at the sock?
Well, I don't have a ranged weapon.
Don't I only have my sword?
You only have your sword.
Right.
Great.
I will do nothing.
I will make a save to try to not have this problem my next turn.
Yeah.
Because I can't do any.
I'm not going to throw my sword.
That's about all I got.
You could move further away to another mud puddle.
No, that's fine.
I want to fucking stab this sock when I have my faculties restored.
Wisdom saving throw.
Okay.
Great.
That won't do it.
It's a 10.
No, you're still frightened.
Great.
I'll probably also take a healing surge before your turn's over.
Great.
Yeah.
That's what I'm going to do.
Flint's looking out for my safety.
Flint, you're up.
On these weapon racks, you find there are various degrees of warhammer, axe, spear,
ranged weapons, bows, that sort of thing.
So whatever you want to grab, and I will tell you what it would equate to.
Some sort of two-handed battle axe would be ideal.
Sure, sure.
Well, I'll give you the plus seven to hit.
Okay.
Just because that usually stands for proficiency and stuff.
But we'll give you a 1d12 plus two on this one.
All right.
So half of what I normally do.
Yeah.
All right.
I grab an axe off the rack, and I go charging over at this sock dragon.
Sure.
Have that, motherfucker.
That's a 19.
But not critical.
19 will hit.
Yep.
Perfect.
Eight and two, that's 10 damage.
It will take that 10 damage.
Okay.
And I will attack him again.
Yep.
That's another 19.
And 19 will also hit.
Ooh, two damage, but I get to reroll that.
Ooh, yeah.
Six, and what was it?
Two bonus, so eight damage there.
Okay.
I'm going to hit myself with a healing surge real quick while we're standing around.
Sure.
While you're standing around fighting in a giant sock.
Doing nothing.
That's right.
At the end of your turn, the sock puppet dragon heaves a little bit.
And coming forth from its maw, quite literally, a dust bunny comes out.
Aw.
And it falls in the initiative order.
So, Thea, you're up next.
First things first.
Good anticipation building.
Thank you.
I'm immune to poison and disease.
Okay, so you shouldn't have been hopping, but you did anyways.
I know, I did.
But now, should I be having the munchies?
No.
Through their touch is poison, correct?
No.
Okay.
Well, I hopped just for funsies because I didn't want him to feel bad about himself.
But yeah, I'm not going to fucking search for food, even though I feel like Thea is probably a person who's always hungry anyway, just because of recreational activities.
So, as that is happening, I know I am still frightened of this creature.
So, I'm not going to move any further toward it.
However, I am going to...
I see it's made of fabric.
I'm going to Flaming Sphear its ass.
So, I make a five diameter sphere and I launch it at this motherfucker.
And I'm going to use a fourth level spell slot.
And that's going to do something.
Something rad.
The dragon does need to make a dexterity saving throw and take half damage on a successful.
And then it also creates a bonus action.
Well, its dex is only 12 for the save.
That's not enough.
But it has legendary resistance.
So, if it fails a saving throw, it can choose to succeed instead, which it does.
That's fine.
I can take half my damage.
I'm glad I chose a higher spell slot because for the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot above the second level.
So, that means it's 2d6, 3d6, 4d6, 5d6 damage.
And you'll take half that.
22.
So, yeah, it is vulnerable to fire damage.
So, it takes full fire damage.
Oh, you guys.
So, it takes 22 fire damage.
Is it made of polyester?
Does it just?
It's cotton.
Really?
Oh, okay, well.
Too bad.
I know, right?
Does it just go whoosh?
And it was polyester and it just like that.
It's not flame retardant at all.
Brungs cheered.
It's the dust bunny's turn and it's going to attack.
Bring it.
This adorable dust bunny comes up to you.
And it begins jump kicking you.
You take 1d6 plus one bludgeoning damage.
I feel like I'm Sylvester and I've met this what I thought was a mouse, but oh my God, it's actually a kangaroo.
And it's beating the shit out of me.
So, you take three bludgeoning damage from this dust bunny's jump kick.
I'm okay with it because it's adorable.
And at the end of its turn, the dragon heaves forth two more dust bunnies and they come out.
And we all make a collective aww.
Yeah.
It's Disa's turn.
She grabs a similar war hammer to Flint and she runs over to the giant dragon and rolls very poorly.
Holy shit.
Does not do well.
And we all yell, Disa, what the fuck?
I'm speaking for a lot of us right now.
I apologize.
Swings wildly.
She's like, sorry, guys.
But it's Grants' turn and Grants stands up.
And you hear him whisper an incantation.
What does that sound like?
Oh boy.
Well, let's hold on.
Let's see if he does well.
He does well.
He casts magical spell.
Hashtag, you don't need to be a professional to be a DM.
Yeah, that's right.
He casts fifth level magic missile.
Oh shit.
So he gets to roll 8d4.
Jesus.
So you see him whisper this incantation.
Oh boy.
And these missiles, eight of them fly out from around him and strike the sock dragon.
And it takes 18 force damage and it's knocked back a step.
But it's its turn.
And he swings his tail towards Flint and Disa because they are closest near them.
And Flint towards Disa, it rolls a 12, which does not hit towards Flint.
It rolls a 23, which should hit.
So its tail swings forward to you and you take 15 bludgeoning damage from this tail.
And those are its two actions.
And now it's Nularaaaa's turn.
Well, I probably just stay in the mud puddle because I can't move towards it because I'm still scared.
Yeah, your mud puddle stuff, you probably just have this one more round and then your mud puddle stuff will disappear.
Well, it's doing wonders for my skin.
So silver lining.
Yeah, I still can't really do anything.
So I'm going to try again to not be frightened so I can do something.
Sure.
That's wisdom, yeah?
Yes, wisdom saving throw, yeah.
If I'm going to get so wise, get ready for it.
I'm really shaking this dice good.
I did get so wise, you guys.
It's 19.
And that will succeed.
You are no longer frightened, but that is the end of your turn.
Nularaaaa the wise.
And at the end of your turn, the sock puppet makes another tail attack towards Flint.
And that is a critical 20.
Damn.
Why is this guy so mean to me?
You're closest to it, dude.
You run in.
I'm just playing the game.
So that's, I rolled poorly though, so you're probably okay.
Eight plus five.
So that's 13 bludgeoning damage.
Okay.
Could have been worse.
Flint, you're up.
Okay, let's start swinging that axe again.
How's this dragon looking, by the way?
Is he looking like he's in full sock health or what's happening here?
You know, he's got some frays around the edge.
A couple threads are coming loose?
Yep, yep.
But no stuffins falling out yet.
Okay.
That is a 17.
17 will not hit.
Oh, okay.
21.
21 will hit.
Excellent.
Sorry, did I just hear a 17 will not hit?
It's a good thing I'm fucking using spells.
That is what you heard.
So that's 13 damage, Russ.
Okay.
And I'm going to use my action surge to attack him again.
Oh, sure.
It's a 19.
19 will hit.
10 damage.
And I'm going to take a healing surge.
Seems like a good idea.
It really does.
So the sock puppet lunges forward towards you, Flint.
Make a dexterity saving throw.
So many throws.
16.
And gobbles you up.
You are now inside the adult sock puppet dragon.
That's exactly where I wanted to be, guys.
And after being swallowed by such a dragon, you must escape out the other end.
Its length is 60 feet and considered difficult terrain.
If a creature ends its turn inside of the sock puppet dragon, it must take a 2d6 poison damage.
Okay.
Good God, man.
Thea, you're up.
You look forward and you see Flint just be devoured by this.
Also, I am resilient versus poison, just an FYI.
Yeah, no, that's cool.
Russ doesn't actually mean that.
He does not think that's cool.
PS, you also touched the dragon.
So you are susceptible to its used gym sock ability.
And it reeks of body odor.
So you have disadvantage on charisma checks until you clean yourself.
How charismatic is he trying to be, having just come out of a sock puppet's anus?
I think charisma is not an important thing at this time.
I'm just trying to keep true to the character.
Sweet Jesus.
Okay.
Flint, buddy, how many hit points you got?
I'm okay for now.
You're good?
Okay.
Because I worry anything I do to the sock puppet's going to adversely affect you.
But all I have are spells.
No, you go for it.
So it's not like I can aim specifically for its head because you're in its gullet or something like that.
It's just going to happen.
It's just happening.
It's all good.
Okay.
I'm going to gas this shit.
How do I say it?
Gash.
I can say it however I want to.
I'm going to gash all up in here.
So I'm going to, I'm not going to conjure.
I'm going to abjurate.
I don't know.
Onto this dragon.
I'm going to place a magical command on him that is going to force him.
Well, technically refrain him from harming anyone in our party.
I assume the creature can understand me because I speak draconic.
Well, it speaks common, but sure.
Okay then.
No excuses.
It's a sock.
Amy, it's a fucking sock.
Obviously it speaks common.
Right?
Obviously.
It must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or be charmed by me for the duration.
Okay.
It succeeds.
No, it does not.
Legendary resistance.
It chooses to succeed.
It's got three of those per day.
It rolled a three, but legendary resistance says I can succeed that.
Pretty sweet spell that legendary resistance.
Well, I think that just cancels out my fucking spell.
Yeah.
So what do you scream up at it?
Fuck you motherfucker.
And I ram my current flaming sphere at it.
Sure.
It will take that.
Yeah, it will.
Dexterity saving throw.
Yes.
18.
Fine.
It takes half damage.
Which is full damage because it's vulnerable.
Yeah, it is.
And that was a level four, so that's a 5d6.
24.
It will take 24 damage.
Yeah.
And let out a sock-like bellow.
That's what I imagine a sock to do.
Yeah, cool.
I'm really mad about that whole like the first time I try my gay ass thing and it doesn't
work.
I'm sorry.
You tried it against a dragon.
It didn't matter if it was against a...
Does every dragon have that legendary thing?
Yeah.
Good to know.
I did not know that.
This is interesting information.
We need to do more research.
We are not very good players.
And it heaves forth two more dust bunnies.
And it is all of the dust bunnies' turn.
So, there are five of them now.
They rush forward.
One to Grancis.
One to Nularaaaa.
Flint inside.
One to Thea.
Two to Deesa.
And they kick the bejesus out of everybody.
Grancis takes three bludgeoning.
Nularaaaa takes...
Is that bejesus?
Are we calling three a bejesus now?
Three bejesus.
It is a unit of measurement now.
It's canon.
Nularaaaa, you take five bludgeoning.
Thea, you take three bludgeoning.
You mean a bejesus.
A bejesus.
And Deesa takes...
Oh, jeepers.
Deesa takes...
That is seven...
Let's see.
It's 15 bludgeoning.
Whoa.
That sounds more like a bejesus.
That does, right?
Three isn't quite enough for a bejesus.
Yeah.
Deesa sees that Flint has been gobbled up by the dragon, and she...
Is filled with a lustful rage.
That's Amy's fault.
Sorry, dude.
And she pushes the dust bunny aside and strikes into...
Strikes into the dragon for a natural 20.
Yeah, she does.
Deesa.
Rage.
It's five, 11 plus two is 13 slashing damage.
I yell, you overdate now.
And she cuts a hole down near the lower end of this sock.
Ooh, maybe he can sneak out of there and not the anus, because I mean...
You never know.
Grants is his turn.
So he lines himself up with three of the dust bunnies.
The two on Deesa and one on himself.
And he fires a hundred foot long, five foot wide lightning bolt.
Nice.
That he's like...
Yeah, it succeeds.
But he's like...
God.
Oh, it worked!
And he casts lightning bolt that strikes through and...
Puffs the three dust bunnies into nothing.
And the dragon takes 8d6 lightning damage on a failed save.
On a failed save.
It chooses to succeed.
This is its third succeed.
But it will take half of 8d6 lightning damage.
How many times can it use that skill, Russ?
Three per day.
Excellent.
Okay.
That's six.
Deesa is slightly attracted to Grants' and feels really ashamed about it.
She should, because as much as he's kind of proving himself in this fight,
we would absolutely not be in this situation if he wasn't such a dolt.
No, who thinks that they accidentally vaporize a species or a colony of frogs
and also somehow ends up having a magical, gross, sweaty, gym sock dragon?
So, yeah.
Well, you never know.
That's our Grants'
So this dragon takes half of the damage, which is 15 total.
It would have been 30 if it wasn't half.
But it ignites and is now on fire.
And it is its turn.
And it throws its thread breath again.
No.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
So I need a dexterity saving throw from Nularaaaa, Thea, and Grancis.
15.
Six.
Okay.
Oh, I hate that sound.
So many dice.
I really wish I could lie.
So Nularaaaa, Thea, and Grancis.
26.
Guys.
Bludgeoning damage.
With a 15?
Damn, son.
Holy shit.
Yeah, you gotta beat an 18.
Damn.
Sorry, how many?
A million?
A million two?
What'd you say?
26.
Million two.
Pretty close.
Metric fuckton.
Does Thea still have that mass cure-all or whatever it is?
Uh-huh.
Just have to make it to my turn.
Nularaaaa, you are up.
The adult sockpuppet dragon is...
Stop calling it an adult.
Can't you just call it a socky?
Not socky.
Thank you.
Socky is on fire, frayed at the edges.
There is one dust bunny still kicking you, but just keep that in mind.
But it is...
That's the state it's in.
You no longer feel like you need to cover yourself in mud, but you...
Yeah, you saved from frightened.
So you can do what you need to do.
Great.
I'm going to attack the sock monkey instead of doing nothing, which is what I've done
this whole time.
That is a 27 to attack.
Oh my god.
Yeah, you run forward and you slice into socky.
Great.
So that is 14 damage.
Yeah, it is.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
It will take this.
Some of that's fire, yes?
Yeah, the...
What was fire?
Sorry, I already picked up my dice.
No, I didn't.
Five of that was fire.
So it takes an extra five, so 19 total.
Okay, I'm going to attack it again.
Yeah.
That is a 22.
That will hit.
So four fire damage.
So eight total.
Then nine piercing damage.
You strike into socky and it lets out a moaning dry bellow as it falls down
and you slice into its body?
Two?
And it is dead and you see Flint crawling through the threaded mess and he emerges
from the hole you cut into this sock and you hear a hush among the grungs and then
an enormous cheer at the end that you have defeated the sock-puppet dragon.
And the gates are opened at either end of the arena and the gold grung and the
orange grungs are hopping forward to come meet you.
I limp in front because I'm not doing very good.
I have two hit points left.
I limp in front of people and I go, no touchy.
No, and I wag my finger and I'm just like, mm-mm.
I know they can understand that.
The other dust bunnies kind of just poof out of existence.
The gold grung hears you say no touchy and he's kind of shrugging and poking in
your direction, shaking his finger at you like he's trying to tell you that
he needs to touch somebody.
I put my hand out.
And he touches your hand and you can't be poisoned.
I go, psych!
And I push Grancis towards him.
Okay, so Grancis goes towards him and he touches Grancis again and you see them
talking in grung for quite a while.
Which sounds like...
for quite a while.
It was kind of pleasant in like a unpleasant kind of way.
Yeah.
And he turns to you and he's like, oh guys, so they're going to let us
let us go I just have to make sure that I get them back to where they came from I
mean it's gonna be tough cuz originally I came with with two grungs and now
there are a lot of grungs but that's for me to deal with I'll deal with that
on a later date anyways we can go we can go they're gonna lead us out it's
gonna be fine good I guess thanks good job for getting us into this yeah
I need a nap Thea's thoroughly cranky her high's worn off she didn't get to have
mashed potatoes you did have mashed potatoes that's why we're in this
pretty it's a powerful spell so they lead you out and you get back into the
living area and you see the grungs kind of just surrounding Donnie every
now and again one of them pokes him so that he can't really do anything and
he's like ah guys we shouldn't fight these frogs anymore ever always
Grancis runs over to his book and he's like I need a hand flipping the pages
somebody help me flip flip flip the pages somebody okay yep so you guys go
over and flip through this big dusty book and he gets to the page that he
needs and he starts whispering and he casts enlarge on everybody it was
slightly lying king slightly Jewish I like it yeah it's good and everybody
grows back to their normal size yeah except the grunts because there's a
lot of grungs he's like I'll deal with the grungs at a later time I
promise grungs if you can hear me down there and they you see them all it's
like I'm the bird and walk like a bunch of like fleas kind of just
running across the floor and they get back into the wall yeah and flip them
off as they all run uh I made I made some pie no thank you mm-hmm
oh I look at them and I go drinks in my room sounds good so you guys
I'll lead out Disa's going with you she doesn't talk very much apparently
apparently not once not once sorry Disa nobody engaged her so we had our own
shit going on it has been an unsettling meal she also took a pretty
good beating at the hands of the sock she did get like blind dated onto well
I guess not blind dated but she came to a setup Christmas dinner Roger Lodge
could have been there like was this like old-school cat fishing I'm like
no you should you should totally come meet my friend there and then yeah and
then get kidnapped by tiny frogs where where the guy I set you up with
doesn't talk to you the entire time like kidnapped by tiny frogs yeah so
she kind of follows you and she's like you know what I'm I think I'm
gonna go I think I'm gonna go Disa I'm so sorry yeah you guys get into some
weird shit there's a reason why they call us the I'm hoping one time it's
just gonna really come naturally like love it yeah you're trying you're
trying for us to just volunteer something I like that you keep going
for it yeah you know next time you're in maybe just stop by it stop by the
store I think my dad wanted you to check into some things anyways I'll
like catch up with you guys another time and she hobbles out oh man she
hobbles now yeah but you guys go get drinks in in Thea's room it's a
fucking frogs my right I think we got a ditch Grancis guys like you're with me
right I don't know his his his cool songs when he's casting spells are
pretty great I can can I cast a spell if we're not in like combat yeah
anyone else hurting oh yeah yeah I'm gonna cast I'm gonna cast mask your
wounds and or no I shouldn't do that we can just rest in my room you're all
just chilling we're just gonna let's just say I mask your wounds cuz I'm a
badass so we can all feel a little better and have less of a hangover
later even though I know we're having a long rest and that and I'm gonna
get that spell slot back anyway so why don't I just take you know I like this
a mask your wounds to prevent hangover why don't I just take some
people say it's a glass of water before you go to bed but no it's a
mask your wounds spell it's certainly a mask your wounds I was just gonna
take oh my god I can't think of the word I don't know what you're
talking about not responsibility like I'm gonna take Carla you're sober come
on now I don't even know where you're going with what you're saying though
my like when you when you're like I totally did that like that was all me
like ownership ownership no no ownership like but you're proud of it like
you're like that was me this is the episode where they tried to figure out
the word for oh my god you guys there's a word for it this is gonna drive me
crazy anyway so just carry on with this
grants us talk fuck grants us let's ditch him like I mean sure he is an
airship well maybe we can still get one more ride with them because he's
got a head to take those little cute froggy dudes back right where they
came from yeah but where is he going and where do we need to go probably
not something we're gonna solve having drinks on Christmas night well no and I
mean we have that meeting yeah I was just trying to leave us an opening for
a faster overland travel instead of having to go and oh no fair enough so
adventures on our next trip somewhere fair oh I think this could be
leverage hey remember that time you shrunk us and those frogs kidnapped
us listen we need to go into the spooky mountains I don't I don't know
any of the landscape around us right now you're in a major metropolis city
no I know that like no but like if we had to go somewhere like we went to
like a snowy place check your guys quest log you guys have a place you need
to go anyways yeah you can definitely use that as leverage so you guys have
drinks and you jovially talk about all your winter solstice endeavors here
with Grancis and you rest you feel good after your rest much better than being
beaten the shit out of by a sock so the next day you are called upon by
Leosin and he leads you to where the council is having their their
meeting and he says guys I just warn you things are a little things are a
little tough right now nobody's getting along and you're gonna walk
into something that's a little hairy just be prepared to to talk it out and
justify things that have happened and will happen and know that you know
that you're behind us that we know that we have support there you have
support from from all those that matter long story short there's been
a death an apparent suicide that some people believe may have been a murder
who was murdered one of the delegates on the council for the Harpers how is
it done it appears to be a suicide but there are clues that maybe lead to the
fact that it might not have been so cut and dry great so it's like CSI
Miami now who's gonna whip off their sunglasses somebody say something witty
they suspect that maybe one of the centerem the the black network yes you
know who they are go back to episode 2 might have been in on it that's all
the information we have right now and he opens the door and you see the
entire council chamber barking and yelling at each other screaming across
the room it's mayhem and chaos and you look to the head of the table
where the last time you were here you saw Lord Neverember you see lady Laryl
Silverhand and she is sitting at the head of the table and Lord Neverember
is not there
music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of in Competech dot film
music.io you know what I'm saying burn cool surely yeah I like that I was
gonna make fun of Russ for his like super dated reference and somehow Amy
made an even more dated reference it was pretty impressive we're we're me
who are made for you are it's so sweet oh you don't like talking to
yourself I take it back I push Flint toward it you push Grantz's towards it
it's fine you don't make hot toddy talk I can do whatever you want okay who
wants to be touched by a grung Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons
production